There are 4 components that curate your future. These 4 things decide what are you going to be, how are you going to place yourself in the society, what would be the force that would drive you?

You must be wondering what are these 4 components? Right? Here it is:

1. Childhood- Where did you grow up, what kind of friends did you have? What was your upbringing, values and education
2. Economic Background- What were all the resources available to you? 
3. Exposure – How many kinds of things were you exposed to?
4. Personal Traits – What sets you apart from other people?

This article is about what really matters and not what society is trying to feed you. Remember when students started making videos on youtube for fun and hid it from their relatives, because it wasn’t totally acceptable for students to be taking out time from their precious study time and making some videos that maybe dumb or not. 

Where are they now?

Scoring high marks in school, colleges and academics even if that means bottling down everything and no real learning. Children were advised to keep their voice low and not complain when they are at a family function, these people now aren’t able to voice their concerns at the workplace. 

Get in a great college and a great degree and you’ll be totally fine. Really?

Is it really happening? 

Think about it for a second.

When the so-called advisors suggest you to do a certain thing a certain way. Let’s take an example: You should do a B-Tech from top tier institutes otherwise you would be stuck with near to no jobs. Okay now this kid who gets this advice prepares for one the most competitive examinations in the country and doesn’t get into a top institute. What does he/she hear?

Now I won’t get a job, I would have this salary range only, I would be this. Which simply means this is a conditioning fed to students that now they are top failures and their growth is restricted , now this person prepares for another competitive exam and then also he is distracted by job pressure, outcome pressure and what if he failed. Which actually makes him loose.

This person probably would learn all the skills from online resources or do some extra courses to secure a job, but along with it come anxiety, low self esteem, self doubt, because all he was hearing was placement institute and top college. But where was the actual thing? 

Let’s look at scenario Two, you are living in a decent house with all the amenities you need, you find the place fine and it doesn’t hinder your pocket or bring you unwanted EMIs. A relative comes in and suggests that this place you are living in is too small, in the future you would have extended family and you would have to expand, you quickly look around and specifically notice the adjustments that you have made to fit yourself in the house. You were satisfied with the place, not having a big closet or a front mirror, a bigger bathroom or an extended kitchen. You were fine with a six seater dining table but now you see that there is no walk-in closet that you want, an extra room for each of your kids, a bigger drawing room for a larger sofa. You now buy a bigger house because the offer would expire if you don’t but it soon, so you take up a home loan until your current house is sold to buy a flat in a society which will eventually devalue. You now pay the EMIs for months until you sell your previous house. It gets hard for you to pay such a big chunk of money and lose your savings and eventually sell the house at a lower value in desperation.

Connection, Agreeableness and success

You must have heard people tend to pretend a false image in front of a crowd to stay in the right kind of circles, from bollywood, art dealers to big corporations. Few people actually have power to move things , some have influence which is also another kind of power and some have connections. You also must have heard “You need to have that kind of connection to get XYZ done”. These are the connections that make people step up the ladder, how do we establish connections? Agreeableness is the answer

When you agree to something when a group of people suggests, they award you with acceptability. People accept you because you agree with their views, so in order for you to maintain certain connections and contacts you agree to things you didn’t even think about properly and that is where society achieves its goals. 

When you don’t use your full logic.

Now this causes a whole group of people to agree to an idea that might not even make sense, but now it does because thousands of people think this way. Think of it this way, 3-4 people in power decided that only this is the best kind of art which is actually just a dot on canvas, so they talk about it in their inner circle which carries influence because of their connections with the people in power and then the idea spreads to common masses like us, and now who are we to set trends right?

BUT GUESS WHAT? 

You can shift the narrative by taking responsibility. 

Didn’t get into Harvard, Stanford, IIT, IIM of the world ? Replace it with hard work. It would take time because the graph would start from below but I promise it will only see upwards direction if you keep going.On the other hand people who had actually got in would have a sense of security which would make them stay in their comfort zone, but you got an advantage son you get to taste the success from ground up. You can do it. 

Want to get a bigger home? Don’t buy it in a hurry, plan out your finances and set a roadmap which saves you your assets and you don’t end up buying a liability.Don’t get lured by what the other people bought and have, see what is good for you and your family in the long run. Peace and mental health over fake luxury because they ain’t gonna pay the bills. 

Want to get casted in a Sanjay Leela Bhansali movie? I don’t know the answer to that, please find it out, because I would love to get casted.

All I am saying is 

Don’t be fooled by the narrative!

Create your own trajectory of life, don’t get fooled by the systems created by society to make the rich richer and poor poorer. You can do whatever you want. It’s an open ground if you look at it from a real perspective. The barrier is created when you believe those narratives and make it your permanent reality.It’s not the case man. 

What does really matter?

What matters is that at the end of the day you feel fulfilled on most days and you are excited to get up for a new challenge in the morning on most days.  

What really matters is that you can sip a glass of whatever drink you like without looking at your phone and smiling with your own thoughts. 

What really matters is that your spouse and kids say “I am proud of you”.

What really matters is that even if you are not happy,you know it won’t last for many days.

What really matters is that you have one life and you shouldn’t be worrying about what you should do to please others, stay relevant and maintain a status.

What really matters is what you let yourself decide what actually matters to you.